We meet up with Duncan Silvey, the co-founder of BS3 Daddin’, designed to give dads a chance to have fun with their children and other dads
Hello Duncan. Where did the idea for BS3 Daddin’ come from?
I was trying to make new friends with a young child but unfortunately, due to the pandemic, our NCT group was online and people were dotted around Bristol and were not within walking distance. We had a few meet-ups, but most of the communication faded as the early years of parenting are challenging – you’re tired and don’t have the energy as you’re sleep deprived.
My partner and I decided to both work four days a week when my son Felix was born. On my days with him, I liked going to all the classes, playgroups especially because I wanted to meet new people. But, I noticed that as a man, I was in the minority!
I think having a child made my partner and I see the differences in gender expectations of early parenting and it’s something I do want to address. I realised I wasn’t making any new male friends who were in similar situations and if I did see a dad, it was a very quick smile or cursory wave in the park. Meetings are sporadic and difficult to organise for dads, especially with children under five years of age.
To solve this, I thought why not provide a space for dads to get together? Saturday mornings are typically when most dads are off work and there’s not much in South Bristol open before 10am on the weekend. Most children wake up at 6am (or earlier!), so running between 9am – 12pm is prime time.
How long has BS3 Daddin’s been going and when and where does it take place?
Our pilot playgroup took place at the BS3 Community Centre in Southville in February 2024 and the second in June 2024. In September we put on our third playgroup and relocated to St Paul’s Church on Coronation Road, where we intend to stay for the foreseeable future.
Who is invited to take part?
Anyone who identifies as a dad, with children between the ages of 0-5 years of age.
Why is it important to have a dads and children only event?
I think this answer is multi-layered. Firstly, it gives one-on-one time for a dad and their children to build rapport, that may not be always possible during the week.
Finding new friends for a dad outside of work and other commitments is challenging in a world that is now predominantly digital in terms of communication with people who are outside of our close proximity. BS3 Daddin’ provides space and time for dads to chat and make new friends in person, building social skills, confidence and just having fun within the company of their children.
By being on a Saturday morning, this also gives a few hours for partners to rest and take time for themselves on the weekend. Unsurprisingly, we have seen that partners are the biggest promoters of the playgroup for this reason. Everyone wins.
What do the dads take from the experience?
The feedback has been that dads feel that they can relax in an environment that doesn’t require ‘perfect parenting’. People can talk openly about challenges they are facing and feel bonded by sharing their concerns and shared experiences.
Do the events give dads the chance to compare their experiences and challenges of being a dad?
Absolutely, the space to speak openly and just feel heard is hugely important. Dads aren’t always necessarily good sharers and by providing a supportive and inclusive environment, this allows people to open up and be vulnerable with each other. Something that I feel western society is just starting to adapt to.
What do the children take from the experience?
Direct feedback from my three year old son is this: “I like seeing my friends and being with daddy”, which is probably the most simple and most important answer for a child.
How many dads attend the events?
Across the three events so far, we are averaging 85 people, plus their children. Fortunately the space is very large, so it feels busy, but not overwhelming.
Will the event extend to different areas of Bristol?
We would love that to happen! It does rely on an expansion of funding, collaboration and volunteers for us to be able to do that. Perhaps in another year’s time, once we are consistently running BS3 Daddin’ but yes, that would be amazing. It’s a simple format and can be easily replicated for other postcodes.
What do you like about running the events?
On a personal level, I love meeting new people. I am building a friendship base for myself that I struggled to build over the last two years of looking after a young child, so I find that very fulfilling. By proxy, I also really enjoy seeing other dads grow in confidence by speaking to other dads and seeing them build new friendships.
The sense of belonging to a community and support network with a goal of improving everyone’s happiness is hugely rewarding. I also enjoy working with Cags, my friend and business partner – our ethos is aligned, but we think differently and working with her helps to make me stretch and be open minded.
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